the monday scaries
how is the world trying to save you back?
Down bad with the sunday scaries? Me too – welcome! I’m so glad you’re here with me.
Hello! It is Wellington Anniversary today so despite being a monday, I am in the trenches of the sunday scaries.
It has been a hard week. My poor body is struggling post-covid, and my fibromyalgia is flaring something wicked—causing pain, fatigue, insomnia, low mood and more. The impact of getting very little sleep has been overwhelming, but I think I am slowly getting on top of things. I am trying to be so kind and patient and gentle with my body but it is challenging sometimes. It is hard not to feel bitter.
When something new gets added to the usual load we carry—sickness, money troubles, changes at work, moving house, etc—it is so easy to feel snowed under. Especially when “the usual load” is already pretty heavy, as it is for most people I know. And even more so when “the usual load” seems to get heavier and heavier every day (politics, world conflict, climate change, cost of living crisis, etc).
I so often feel like the world is taking from me.
Just over a week ago, I went to the beach feeling terrible. I have been walking at the beach a lot to try to ease my fibromyalgia symptoms and help me sleep. I was feeling emotional and helpless and lonely and then I saw a massive pod of dolphins??????
My local beach is not a regular dolphin spotting beach. I have never heard of anyone seeing dolphins at this beach before. It was so surprising and exciting and we watched them for almost an hour. I was in awe. I wanted to message everyone I knew.
Everyone on the beach stopped to watch and point and exchange disbelief. Suddenly, I became so present. So alert to the slightest change in the water. There, there. Did you see that one? I was joined in this communion with other onlookers, strangers, and we stood and watched the water quiver around the dolphins together.
Of course, I thought of this poem:
Yes, the world is taking from me, and look at what it gives me too. What ways is the world giving to you right now? Are you looking and listening? Are you saying yes?